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How to Deal With People and Rejection

02 Mar

In my previous post, How to Deal With People When You’re Writing, I mentioned that you should keep people around when rejection happens.  And it’s true.  If you’ve never experienced someone rejecting your writing before, you can’t get through it alone.  Trust me.

How does one define rejection?

It can be anything from a literally rejected query by the agent of your dreams (or just an agent), a bad review/negative critique about how clunky your dialogue is or not meeting a goal you set for yourself.

When this happens, I want you to surround yourself with the most awesome people you know, even if all you feel like doing is hiding in bed all day.  These awesome people should be the ones that compliment you the moment you walk into the room.  They should tell you how wonderful you are before you leave.  They should stand up for you when someone puts you down.

This really helps — I promise.

Another thing is to shy away from your more nitpick-y friends.  Remember, you’re in a fragile state (at least, I always am).  Even the slightest allusion to something wrong with you could push you over the edge into a mess of tears and snot.  These people have their uses.  They’re awesome to have around when you need someone to read your revised story and point out the plot-holes and mistakes.  But they aren’t so awesome when someone just rejected your writing and then they just rejected your clothing style. (Sweatpants are totally appropriate just-got-rejected attire!)

When you’ve been rejected, you need to be reminded that it’s not always you.  Sometimes the agent you queried wasn’t looking for your genre.  The person who left a negative review might just be having a bad day.  That being said, sometimes it is your fault.  You might need to revise your query letter or first chapters.  Your dialogue could actually be as awkward as they said it was.  There’s still no need to become a hermit and never show your face again!  Revise a little bit, surround yourself with the mentioned awesome people in your life, and then stick your head out there again.

After all, if you don’t, you’ll never know if your query will get accepted by your other dream agent.  You’ll never discover if your going to get a good review.  So never give up when you’re rejected.

Just use the valuable, awesome people in your life to keep you from becoming a hermit, and you’re golden.

Accepting rejection,
Katarina Madden

My Experience:

The first time I experienced rejection with my writing was through a query letter that got rejected.  I had sent it out to one agent because I wanted to get my first experience with rejection in the past.  Of course, this doesn’t mean I didn’t hope for a full manuscript request.  After receiving the disappointing email, I ran into a friend of mine.  She is totally uplifting and does all of the things listed under “awesome person” and more.  After a short talk that didn’t even involve my query, I felt so much better about myself and ready to tackle my next writing endeavor

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Posted by on March 2, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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